God has not asked me to be self-sufficient.
Let that sink in.
God created us for relationship. Healthy relationships are both giving and receiving, which sometimes means being vulnerable with others about our needs.
Which, for me, is actually pretty difficult.
For some reason, I have been under the impression that in order to receive, I must give. Over the past few days, I have been learning through so many not-so-fun circumstances that this just isn't the case.
When I see other people struggling, I want to help. Not because I want something from them, but because I see their need and something in me wants to do what I can to make it better.
"It is more blessed to give than to receive." (Acts 20:35)
And I feel super joyful and encouraged to be able to help other people do what they could not do themselves.
But when I ask other people for help, I usually think that I am inconveniencing them and being a burden.
What a binding lie!
We were never expected to be self-sufficient people, and if I don't allow others to help me I am putting myself on a pedestal, waiting to fall.
It is okay that I can't do everything. It's okay that I don't know everything. And it is completely okay to ask other people to help me in situations like that.
I don't need to earn it. I don't need to do something in return.
I can simply receive with gratitude and pay it forward.
"This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." (John 15:12)
Jesus loves me/helps me/stands by me so that I can love/help/stand by others. He is the beginning of paying it forward.
He helps us out of our junk and out of our selfishness by being selfless, which catches us offguard. It's hard to comprehend because it's so beyond our way of thinking.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord." (Isaiah 55:9)
My natural inclination is that I have to earn love/trust/favor/acceptance/grace. But when I come to God with that reasoning, I'm saying that what was done on the cross wasn't sufficient for me. That I don't need Jesus; I'm going to prove myself.
"Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'" (John 14:6)
If I'm trying to come to God by way of my own righteousness, I'm not going to make it. I won't even come close. Jesus is the only way.
Praise God, because I am pretty awful sometimes. :)
So today, as my car is being towed, I am realizing that I have a lot of really awesome people around me who are more than happy to help me and wanting to get past my stone wall of self-reliance.
I have been offered rides into town, use of vehicles, help with fixing problems, and it's really been humbling. But...
"...We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." (Romans 8:28)
I am so thankful for the lessons that I'm learning. It's proof to me that God hasn't forgotten me and that he is so involved in every detail of my life. :)
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